Before & After

Read actual accounts from those who have done the inner work to transform their self-talk, not just their bodies – this is the key to permanent weight loss. Clients start by writing a letter to themselves that captures their weight loss struggle to date (their names have been changed to protect their privacy but all other information is actual). They continue with snapshots of their personal growth experiences and their developing Soul connection during the process. Their journeys are both astounding and inspiring!

“Taylor” Age 52, Registered Nurse, Married, 2 Adult Children

girl5Here’s what I’ve noticed about your struggle with your weight…
It seems like you have been struggling with your weight ever since you had your children. You have been promising yourself that tomorrow would be the day when you would start behaving yourself with food. No matter how many promises you make to yourself, you do not change. You continue to overeat and abuse food. While you have the apparent knowledge to determine what to eat, or when to eat, and how much to eat, you disregard this knowledge and instead choose self-gratification and eat whenever you want with no regard for the consequences. When the guilty feelings come after breaking another promise, or after overeating, you say it will be the last time. When will be the last time?

The issues with food were there long before the weight began to accumulate and I know that you acknowledge this. Having been a hungry child, both for food and for love, you have compensated for this lack throughout your adult life. It seems that at some point, you should stop blaming your hungry inner child and become a more responsible adult.

The simple shifts and incremental changes I’ve experienced are…
I now use food to nourish and fuel my body. I have learned the feeling of quietude. I eat to achieve the 3/4 full level of satiety. I am living an active life and am walking daily. I seek out opportunity for activity. I have expanded my “acceptable timelines” to do things during the day, to include many more hours. I have reawakened old interests such as reading, library trips and taking classes at the gym. I feel energized most days. I have become aware of my inner voice. I recognize the value of receiving a compliment. I am keeping promises to myself. I am engaging with more people in my life.

This is Soul talking…
I have seen a lot of change in you. You have awakened after years of stumbling around half asleep, on automatic pilot. You are aware of your internal self and have come to value this. You are finding your way back to the old you (aka. the younger you when you felt more joy and happiness and found pleasure in small things).

You are working hard at testing the boundaries of what you thought was true, and finding out that many things you thought were true and set in stone, are actually not that way. You are seeing things from a new perspective. This has allowed you to become more active and more engaged in your life and with those who surround you. You are content and happier than before. You are looking forward to the future and thinking of things to do and adventures to have.

The big insights and significant choices I’ve experienced are…
I am responsible for evolving my relationship to a higher level as I have more awareness at this time. This is hard to handle. And difficult to believe that it is true. But I see the validity in this statement and I am putting this into practice. I think that I am mature, and therefore must continue to evolve toward this maturity beyond ego. Unconditional love sounds simple but to forgive freely and love this way, with no ego, is more difficult than it sounds. I have embraced and witnessed and put this into action, understanding the differences in core values that are seen in conflict.

This is Soul talking…
You have experienced empathy toward your husband when in conflict, and by doing this it has enabled conflict resolution. While you have fallen from grace (withholding going to visit his mom), you have recognized this behaviour as counterproductive and the next opportunity to act with grace, you succeeded. You have the capacity and the willingness to embrace unconditional love and to forgive freely.

“Melinda” Age 52, Event Planner, Married, No Children

girl2Here’s what I’ve noticed about your struggle with your weight…
It has fluctuated with stress throughout your life: divorce; traveling constantly for work; losing your job; and dealing with your mother’s and father’s issues. You do really well during the day but by the end of the day the stress has piled up and you don’t have the energy to think about what your body really needs. Sometimes even during the day you eat fast and don’t let your tummy regulate how much food you need and you have more than your portion.

You’ve done extremely well in regular strength training for the past year and a half and I can see the results. Although exercise is only supposed to be about 20% of the equation to losing weight, I think for you it’s more than that. I think exercise helps your discipline, stress and makes you more aware of what you eat and it seems to peel off the fat quicker. You’ve been strong enough to overcome your weight gain at least a couple of times in the last 20 years and you can do it again and stay healthy for the rest of your life.

You envision yourself running a successful company of your own, developing new environmentally and people friendly products free of toxins. Food and money are similar in the sense that your total intake for the day of food is like a bank account, you have a certain number of calories a day your body needs. You only need a certain amount of money every day so why would you spend any more? Why would you eat more than you need?

The simple shifts and incremental changes I’ve experienced are…
When I started this program I was desperate and frustrated. The amount of time and effort I put into losing weight the past couple of years was a part time job. The judgment when I weighed myself every day caused turmoil and disappointment. I was also drowning in other people’s drama.

Today I am happy, relaxed and learning to be more aware of my choices. There are endless possibilities, especially when disguised as a problem. No matter what criteria I set for myself I know that even a small percentage of achievement counts as an “I did it”. I do not need a diet or a scale. I am growing my self-integrity to keep promises to myself. I am learning to identify fear and resistance. Being aware of my choices, taking better care of myself and listening to my soul’s kind voice is key to achieving whatever I want. I can make different choices.

This is Soul talking…
You are everything you admire in those people and nature around you. Don’t complicate it. Your natural instincts and abilities will get you there. It is beneficial for you to take time for yourself and to quiet your mind. You are stronger and more insightful than you think. There is nothing to fear. Live your life, be happy and have fun. Embrace the obstacles.

The big insights and significant choices I’ve experienced are…
Now I am in a place where I realize all obstacles are here for me to learn and grow, nothing more. They are not to be ignored or thought of as anything more than an opportunity to grow and move forward. I have many goals and things to accomplish but they will come in the right time and place. Even under stress, I realize that there’s a purpose for whatever uncomfortable situation I may be in at the moment.

I have come far in mind and body, so far that I barely remember the beginning of this journey. I have worked hard and spent time on myself, something I had not done before. I am reminded regularly that I was a naysayer, the negative one. Today, I have become a more positive and happy person. I have lost weight and feel better about it taking time. I’m not in a rush if that’s what it takes. I believe in me instead of always looking in a diet or self-help book to find the “key”. I am the key. I make the choices. Everything I do is a choice.

This is Soul talking…
It’s not really a struggle about weight, it’s a struggle with yourself. The stress of the diet or obsessing about getting exercise is no longer there. It’s no longer your main focus and it feels good to let go of that and let that area be filled with other things. You know there is a special place in time, a certain flow that is very close that will take you to your next weight loss goal. It can’t be forced or controlled or managed.

It is most important for you to practice self-care, exercise and other things you enjoy, like gardening, because you want to remember life is to be enjoyed. It’s not something you struggle through, this is it. Time means nothing – it will take as long as it takes. You deserve everything life has and is about to give you. Be always grateful, especially for the challenges and the happy days and moments.

“Erika” Age 28, Education Manager, Single, No Children

girl2Here’s what I’ve noticed about your struggle with your weight…
Since sophomore year of high school you have never been able to stop being aware of food and exercise and how they affect your body. That year, you started to understand that there is more to food than just healthy food and junk food. You learned that every food has a different number of calories and more calories consumed leads to weight gain. You started becoming obsessed with learning about foods, their calorie content and their nutritional value.

Around this time, exercise became more than just moving your body and feeling alive. It became a way to burn calories and prevent weight gain. You had always wanted a gym membership – remembering Mom going to aerobics class on weekday evenings, all dressed up in her workout gear. When you were 16, you were finally old enough to obtain a gym membership of your own, which you got as a Christmas gift. You went to the gym regularly. You loved it, especially at first. But soon there was mounting pressure to go all the time. You had to go or else you would gain weight and lose everything you had worked for.

You did so much research and learned so much, and it felt like you were discovering a whole new world you never knew existed. You were both excited and terrified by the idea that you could control your diet, your weight, your body and your health. But all the research and new awareness of food and exercise started feeling more like an obligation. You knew that eating healthy foods and exercising were important for staying healthy and looking your best. How could you eat unhealthy foods or skip workouts knowing this? Eating unhealthy foods, or eating too much and not exercising, now felt like you were making an intentional choice to not be healthy. You worried that if you got a disease one day or became overweight, it would be all your fault because maybe you could have prevented that from happening.

The summer before junior year, you were so thin that your parents were worried about you. Mom cried when she tried to talk to you about your weight loss. You were now so fixated on your weight, you refused to eat anything remotely “unhealthy.” You even got upset when family members ate dessert. Your parents took you to see a counselor who told you that you were anorexic. She recommended you see a dietician who tried one day to force you to eat cookies. You adamantly refused to eat them and refused to see her after that. You eventually starting seeing a different counselor and a different dietician. These people were more helpful.

You now recognized that you had a problem and wanted to fix it. You started eating more and trying to gain the weight back. Sometimes you ate a lot in one sitting, until you were uncomfortably full. You now felt ashamed of how much weight you’d lost and wanted to look “normal” again. Eating binges seemed like a fast track to get there. But before long you gained all the weight back that you’d lost and then some. You continued gaining weight until you reached a peak freshman year of college. You were overweight.

From the time you started binge eating until today, you have hated the way you feel after binge eating. You feel so disgusting, embarrassed, ashamed, and deceitful. You feel so regretful of your behavior but so powerless to stop it. Your eating and exercise habits cycle – eating well and exercising regularly, to eating poorly and/or not exercising, to binge eating to the point of disgust. You feel trapped in the cycle and want to break free of it. It has been so exhausting. You have been able to maintain your weight for the past five years or so, but it has always fluctuated 10-20 pounds depending on where you are in the cycle. You worry that people notice that. You certainly notice it. In all this time, you rarely come close to feeling the way you’d like to feel about your body. You want to feel good about your body – healthy and confident and in control. You believe that is possible. You haven’t found out how yet, but you pray you will.

The big insights and significant choices I’ve experienced are…
Ego & Soul:
One of the most significant gains I’ve made is becoming aware of Ego and Soul and the characteristics of each. Previously, I thought that I was hearing many different voices in my head. I believed that each voice represented a fragment of me and that I needed to take direction from all of them. Their messages often conflicted with one another, which made it difficult to make decisions. I now understand that my thoughts originate not from many voices but from simply Ego or Soul. Thoughts that come from Ego may be observed or examined with curiosity, or they can simply be dismissed. Thoughts that come from Soul, on the other hand, deserve reverent attention because Soul is connected to who I am at my core. Listening to thoughts that come from Soul can help me to realign with my deepest needs, values and desires.

Ego exists to keep me safe, small and protected. It keeps me from advancing toward any behavior that could produce pain. At first, that may seem beneficial. But trapped inside of Ego’s cage, I feel cramped, limited and unfulfilled. Because Ego won’t allow me to stretch beyond the confines of its cage, it is nearly impossible to learn, grow into my authentic self and fully experience life. Ego manipulates me by tapping into my fears and insecurities. It creates a lot of chatter in my mind that generates anxiety and depletes my energy. Soul, on the other hand, is the beautiful, pure source of clarity, peace and wisdom that resides within me. Soul is a compassionate witness to my life. She does not judge; she simply observes. Soul provides guidance from a place of infinite and unconditional love. She speaks to me gently and quietly, and when I am guided by her, I feel like my truest self; my energy is calm.

Now that I better understand these two forces within me, I am better able to discern which force is influencing my thoughts. When I am operating out of fear, I recognize that Ego has gained control. When I am operating out of love and trust, I know that Soul is guiding me.

Control vs. Choice:
Another major shift in my thinking has been moving from the control paradigm to the choice paradigm. In the past, I have relentlessly, and unsuccessfully, attempted to control my way to desired outcomes such as: ending binge behaviors; developing a healthy relationship with food; maintaining a healthy weight; and improving my self-esteem. The black and white thinking I operated from (I was either in “control mode” or “chaos mode”) was keeping me in an endless cycle of restriction and bingeing, exerting control and then rebelling against it.

When I started to practice abstaining from judgment and simply noticing my thoughts and behaviors around eating, I was able to move into the choice paradigm. Instead of the exhausting and nauseating ride on the pendulum back and forth between control and chaos, I was able to experience what it feels like to make conscious choices based on how I want to feel. In exploring this new territory of the choice paradigm, I noticed that I wasn’t quite sure how to be with choice. At first, I thought ‘Now that I’m not judging myself, why not eat everything in sight? Why not eat all my favorite foods, guilt-free?’  So that’s exactly what I did. And what I was able to notice is that doing so often drained me of energy and made doing the things I enjoy more difficult. It blurred my thinking and diminished my motivation to do much of anything besides exist in a vegetative state until the haze wore off or I was forced out of it.

Congruency & Incongruency:
I learned that bingeing, among other self-destructive behaviors, makes me feel poorly not only for physiological reasons, but also because it is a choice that propels me toward incongruency. Bingeing does not bring me closer to my bigger life vision, and therefore, it is not an act of integrity. I used to think that bingeing was evil, and that a demon inside of me was forcing me to cave in to my urge to eat everything in sight. Now I understand that bingeing is simply a coping mechanism that developed in the past when I was struggling to be with my reality.

Although bingeing no longer serves me, the addictive wiring that has formed around it continues to lead me to the behavior when I encounter a situation that feels uncomfortable. Now I know that when I am in an incongruent state, I simply need to make a small choice that will break the cycle and push me back toward congruency to turn things around. So after a binge session, instead of dwelling in negative feelings, I can choose to carry on with my life or engage in a restorative activity to move back toward congruency.

Harm Reduction & Dialing Down:
As I’ve moved away from black and white thinking around eating, I’ve started to focus more on harm reduction and dialing down destructive thoughts and behaviors rather than trying to eliminate or abstain from them. Ego continues to cling to the destructive behaviors that keep me safe, small and protected. Therefore, Ego feels less threatened by the idea of reducing these behaviors rather than doing away with them all together. Meanwhile, as I tune into Soul more, I am creating a greater capacity for self-compassion, unconditional love and inner strength. This will support me in shedding those behaviors that no longer serve me and replacing them with ones that bring me closer to my bigger life vision.

Self-Compassion & Unconditional Love:
When I first started this process, I wanted results right away. I just wanted to find out what the secret formula was so that I could promptly execute it and finally start living the life I was meant to live. I wanted instant happiness. When I was told that I needed to drop any sense of urgency and short term deadlines, I felt confused and even a little panicky. Over time, I have learned to lean into the process and to trust it. I now see that I am on a journey and actually have been all along. This is a journey of learning and understanding, growing and evolving, healing and love – and no part of it can be rushed.

The path I am traveling on is leading me to discover, embrace and ultimately align with my most authentic self. Making mistakes along the way is part of the experience. In the past, I would suffer through my mistakes. I would beat myself up and then enforce strict rules, believing that my true nature could not be trusted. I now realize that when I can love myself through a mistake, I am better able to find the learning in it.

Staying Present:
One major breakthrough for me has been learning that bingeing is a way for me to disconnect with my reality. Whether I want to numb my emotions or run away from my current circumstances, bingeing has enabled me to escape. Bingeing is a response to uncomfortable feelings, and I now see that in order to truly comfort myself, I need to respond to my feelings in ways that are healing and loving.

I am starting to learn how to allow my emotions to pass through me, to be with them as they come and go. I have started incorporating behaviors that break the bingeing pattern and provide restorative energy. For example, I have redefined my relationship with exercise, now seeing it not as an obligation but as a way to lovingly honor Soul. I have made exercise more accessible by lowering my expectations around it. I have focused more on frequency rather than intensity, and I’ve begun successfully incorporating exercise daily.

I have continually observed that when bingeing is dialed down, I have more headspace to focus on other aspects of my life. This extra headspace has allowed me to examine how my beliefs around love, pain and self-worth are showing up in work and in my relationships. I have started to dismantle some of the beliefs I have around power. In the past, I have felt powerless to exert power with other people. I have avoided decision-making, people-pleased, and failed to establish and uphold boundaries. In an effort to be loved and accepted by others, I have neglected the most important relationship of all – the one with myself. I have started taking steps towards establishing boundaries with my mom, and I have tried taking back my power through micro choices, such as being more decisive and speaking up when I have the urge to say something.

The words “own your life” have inspired me to trust my inner wisdom in making decisions and to not question those decisions once they’ve been made. I am very proud of the ground I’ve covered these past several months. The new language I’ve learned to help me describe and understand my thoughts and behaviors has helped me immensely. By hearing the stories of others who have had similar experiences to me, I no longer feel so alone in my struggle. My feelings of self-hatred have diminished. I’m beginning to see how my binge eating could actually be a blessing, as it has led me to desire a deeper, more accepting, forgiving and loving relationship with myself.

This is Soul talking…
You are a beautiful young woman, inside and out. You have always been observant and deep. You see beauty in nature and in others, and it moves you: your father’s twinkling eyes when he’s telling a joke; your mother’s gentle hands; a bursting sun that dims as it sets over the water; the quiet of a forest on a snowy winter morning; kindness from a stranger; a child’s laughter; a song that touches a truth so deeply it evokes tears. In these moments, you feel so connected to the world, to me, and to God. These moments are a glimpse of the divine; you savor them and they fill your heart with joy.

You realize now that the divine beauty you see around you also exists within you. It is a source of unconditional love and infinite light. It will always remain strong and pure. It can never be dimmed, tarnished, damaged or destroyed. This is where I live and I will never leave you. As you continue on your journey to discovering and becoming your most authentic self, trust that the beauty inside of you will always be accessible to you. Trust in me. Forgive yourself for past mistakes and forgive others for how they may have hurt you. Believe that the universe will work in your favor. Claim your spot in it; you deserve to be here. Face each day with an open, courageous heart. When you feel afraid, find love. Let your inner beauty be seen by the world. All you need to do is be you.

“Becca” Age 46, School Teacher, Married, 2 Teenage Children

girl3Here’s what I’ve noticed about your struggle with your weight…
I know it has been a terrible struggle off and on during your teens, at university and then after having kids you have really ballooned out. I feel sorry for you. I would not wish being obese on anyone. Of course, you make all the wrong choices. You say you want to be a great mom and be an example of healthy living for your kids but you eat very poorly. They see you working out all the time and they see healthy dinners but they miss all the food that you hide: cartons of ice cream; cookies; and my God the amount of chocolate you eat dipped in peanut butter is incredible. Your blood must be brown due to the chocolate you eat. The kids are old enough to know that with all the working out you do you should not be as obese as you are. They are smart. You talk about what it takes to be healthy but they know you are lying. They need to be able to trust you as they head into the teenage years or your relationships with them will fail.

You are not a victim of abuse or a terrible husband or bad kids or a poor household or no job. You have everything that you need in life so why do you make yourself into a victim?  ‘Poor me’ you think all the time, and want to treat yourself with sugar. Every time you goof up and overeat, or eat garbage, you hate yourself. It is obvious that you are weak and pathetic. You are fat and repulsive. You are embarrassed to be seen by your friends and all the trainers at the club. You did so well, then you ate yourself fat and sick. How stupid could you be? You have spent so much money on weight loss but nothing works for you. It must be because you don’t want to be slimmer and healthy. If you did you would not sabotage yourself all the time.

It’s like watching a train wreck. Even though it is horrible you can’t help but look. You must be so screwed up in your head. Any normal person would not do this to their body or their health or their children. Don’t you want to look lean and strong, in the summer especially, but all the time? You have great muscles but they are all under an enormous layer of fat and no one can see them. No one can see how hard you work in the gym. So literally, all they see is a “fat fuck” (excuse my language). I need that harsh word so that you would see how painful it is to look at you.

Why can’t you just eat regular portions and healthy food? Every time you “indulge” in sweets you feel so bad about yourself. Why do you want to be so unhappy all the time? I feel like screaming at you. How can you make the same mistake over hundreds of times? You must be so dumb! Everything you are is just a mess. Just a big ball of stupid messiness. It’s pathetic. I can’t even talk to you anymore, you make me sick.

The simple shifts and incremental changes I’ve experienced are…
I have made a great deal of progress in a short amount of time. I have begun to feel that I was born deserving and that I am a person worthy of love and self-care. I have managed to subdue a great deal of the negative self-talk that was constantly harassing me every moment of every day. When I am in alignment, I have much more positive self-talk in my head. I am treating myself like I would treat a friend. I use words of kindness, warmth and gentleness. My soul’s voice is present frequently. My head is much less occupied with busy chatter.

I frequently make intentions for myself for the next day. This gives me focus and allows me to be less vulnerable to boredom and inactivity. I make an effort to get active early in the day so that I suffer from less resistance. I am improving my self-integrity. I know now I need to honor my own needs, before others, in order to be there for others. I know that progress is my goal, not perfection – that any step forward is to be acknowledged and appreciated, and I will not place further demands on myself in that moment.

I am engaging in the present moment instead of the past or future. I will not paint myself with past experiences. Every day is a new day to live. I am making efforts to live in harmony with the events that unfold. I am finding the choices I make more effortless as time passes. I have experienced flow. The day is not wrought with decisions; I just move from one activity to another, including my meals, and do not stop to second guess or judge myself. I feel strong, worthy and comfortable.

This is Soul talking…
You have truly impressed me. It is astounding to see how much progress you have made. A chocolate bar sat beside you, while you enjoyed a bath for an hour. That is amazing! You are strong, confident and sexy. You are worthy of love, attention, self-care and generosity. You are a wonderful woman. You are a phenomenal mom, a great wife, a loving daughter and a fun friend. You deserve to be treated very well. You need to understand that you are beautiful right now, not when you lose X amount of weight. You have a great face and a wonderful smile. Your confidence is very alluring.

You can take care of yourself, be kind to yourself and still have enough time and love to take care of everyone else. You are more full of energy and are happy to complete tasks all day long with breaks for self-care. You start off by moving in the morning in order to keep resistance at bay. You start tasks even if you do not have time to finish them because you know that it is still a step forward and you are content with that, rather than putting further demands on yourself. You are more capable of keeping the promises you have made to yourself. This is giving you confidence and self-worth. You have always had integrity with other people and it is great to see you developing self-integrity. You must be shocked to see how freeing it is to not be thinking about food. You can put all that resistant energy into more useful and fulfilling activities. You should be immensely proud of yourself!

The big insights and significant choices I’ve experienced are…
There has been a great deal of evidence that I am a work in progress, meaning that I am making changes to my behaviours around everything:

  • When I look in the mirror I see a pretty face looking back at me
  • I wear clothes that fit me more closely to show off the body I have now, and I am rarely self conscious when I do so
  • I am looking at myself in the mirror
  • I no longer turn away when I look at my body in the mirror
  • I choose when to have indulgences
  • I do not dwell on my indulgences or run on with negative self-talk
  • I see people more positively
  • I compliment friends and/or strangers several times a day
  • I am choosing to walk the talk and be a role model for my kids
  • I feel good about myself
  • I can recognize that certain foods, even though they looked tasty, are not worth it
  • I look forward to the start of a day
  • I am sleeping better than I have in the past
  • I am interested in a sexual relationship with my hubby again
  • My libido has increased greatly
  • I am less judgmental of my kids or hubby
  • I feel sexy
  • I choose to treat myself equal to the others in my house more often, through micro choices
  • I am choosing to buy myself new sexy undergarments because it makes me feel good about myself
  • I am choosing to work out more often and more completely
  • I notice that some men find me attractive and it’s very flattering
  • I want to be noticed by people
  • I accept compliments instead of deflecting them
  • I know that weight loss is inevitable
  • I see my future self and know that I will be her some day
  • I know that I am creative and am destined to be great
  • I know I have talents to share
  • I know that I am attractive
This is Soul talking…

You are amazing. I am speechless. I am so impressed with the changes you have made in your life. You are beautiful, confident, warm, loving, generous, healthier, active, strong, kind, charming, funny, sexy, alluring, noticeable and so much more. You have transformed the way that you see yourself and think about yourself. You know you are deserving and that you are just as important as everyone else. You know that you were meant for so much more than your life of the past. I love your new look, wearing clothes that fit much better, and the fact that you are proud of the body you have now.

You are experiencing true happiness and on the verge of joy. I am pleased that you can see how important you are to the people in your life and that you have so much to offer even strangers. I am impressed how well you have been dealing with your mom’s health issues. It is like you are a whole new person because you are so “together” and able to handle the enormous amount of stress right now. You know in your heart that food is not the answer. You are experiencing emotions instead of dulling them with food. You are being true to your desires and passions and are working very hard to make progress. You are such a great student with Coach Kath. You are diligent and conscientious, which is why you are so successful. You are so blessed to wake up every morning and see that beautiful smile, smiling back in the mirror. You are worth knowing, worth loving and worth admiring.

The deep realizations and humbling actions I’ve experienced are…

  • I will be a work in progress for the remainder of my life
  • I need to be more patient
  • I am still hard on myself at times
  • I want to be more than a wife and mom
  • I have had a dependence on my trainer

This is Soul talking…
Wow. This is quite the journey for you. You have had your ups and downs whether that be on the scale, your mood or your sense of accomplishment. Throughout this process though, you keep putting forth a great effort. Some people would give up. I am impressed that you have not given up. You know in your heart that this is the right process for you and that you are in such a better place from when you began. I love it that every time you look in the mirror you see yourself as a beautiful woman. When you walk around town, you walk with confidence knowing that you are attractive, sexy and strong. You notice men and women who look at you and you know that it is a compliment and take it as such.

You have become a better person. You are more patient, you are kind, you are more thoughtful, you give out compliments frequently to other people, even strangers. You can accept compliments from people. You have almost stopped saying “I’m sorry” all the time. You are so much more approachable. You will achieve your goals. I know it with all my heart. You just have to be patient and keep putting yourself first so that you can show up in full colour for other people. I look so forward to your future and want you to enjoy every day now and forever.

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