You can only move towards a vision, not a void.
Today’s Wisdom Bite about your bigger life challenges you to form a vision for yourself that goes way beyond weight loss. Indeed, one of the first questions I pose to new clients is “What would that weight loss enable?” Without this vision, you’re just asking for an end to the struggle. You’ll end up focusing on what you don’t want, rather than on what you do want, creating a void that will make it harder and harder to get up each morning and engage. Your bigger life, on the other hand, is about becoming more of who you know yourself to be deep down inside. It’s about making the contribution you’re destined to make in your life and in the world. Now that’s a vision that’s asking for joy.
Your potential – what you uniquely have to offer – is needed in the world…
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Here’s what you need to know
Your potential – what you uniquely have to offer – is needed in the world. There are swaths of people you have yet to meet who are waiting for you; lives you have yet to touch that are in need of your natural gifts and talents; and a positive ripple effect that will be felt in your wake. But that potential, with its dizzying possibilities, will scare you – no, more likely terrify you – because it threatens to break open your safe, small, protected life that Ego has so carefully constructed.
I observed early on in my coaching practice that larger people tend to live smaller lives. “If only I could address this weight thing, then everything else would fall into place.” Does that focus sound familiar? Your bigger life is not about waiting for your body to meet some elusive number or health ideal first; it’s about pursuing your dreams even as your body is a work-in-progress.
If you’re truthful with yourself, you’ll realize your weight is not the barrier to taking those singing lessons, or seeking that relationship or establishing that new business, etc. The real barrier is your fear.
- Here’s what a letter TO your bigger life might sound like… “I feel like every time I get a taste of you I can’t shut that feeling down fast enough – like I have to revert to the status quo the minute things start to go too well. I can even hear the thoughts rehearsing in my head, waiting to pounce and sabotage my efforts. What am I hanging on to so tightly or what do I fear so badly that I’m compelled to keep myself distracted and deadened for years, decades even?Yet, when I turn away from you, the consequences are undeniable. There’s a Soul-level listlessness that I can’t escape or fill, no matter what food I reach for or how much of it I consume. It’s the proverbial void. It haunts me with every squandered moment. If it were to play out as a montage, it would have a painfully predictable pattern that always dumps me at the feet of anxiety or depression. I can’t seem to calm myself until I turn back towards you.”
- Here’s what a letter FROM your bigger life might sound like… “I am only bigger in your mind. Drop down into your body to feel me. Drop down into your heart to know me. I have always been here, finding ways to express in spite of your fear. You are living bigger than you were 10 years ago, 5 years ago even. Your life is constant evidence of me. Be willing to acknowledge this much more.
You underestimate the amount of acknowledgement and practice it takes to get here. You make it complicated but it’s elegantly simple. You want it to be easy rather than temporarily uncomfortable. You keep trying to distill it into a plan but it’s a way of being. I can’t show up fully until you decide to show up fully. But that also means you will have everything you need when you get here so there is nothing to fear.You’re more capable than you give yourself credit for. You’re on a Soul journey. It doesn’t matter how fast you get here, it only matters you’re headed in this direction. I await with open arms.”
I’m trusting this message will get you excited about your bigger life but don’t just take my word for it. The universe has a wonderful way of placing encouragement along your path to call you forth. Look for the inspiring quotes, articles, books, audios, videos, events and people that resonate with you. Have the audacity to answer the call. Feel the gulp in your throat as you engage. Let this encouragement remind you of who you are and who you’re becoming. Let it coax you further into your bigger life every day!
Here’s what you can practice
Your bigger life has nothing to do with having all the time and resources to just check things off your bucket list. It also has nothing to do with the size or scope of your life compared to anyone else. It has everything to do with the more expressive and expansive experiences you know you would be having if you weren’t holding yourself back in any way due to your weight.
If you’re still trying to clarify what your bigger life even is: you’ll want to play a version of the ‘warmer/colder game’. Remember that childhood game where you searched for something to a chorus of “Warmer! Colder!” from others who were in the know? Except in this case, you’re going to use your calm or anxious feelings to guide you as you turn towards (calm) or away from (anxious) your bigger life.
When things start to go well, practice staying with that positive feeling for incrementally longer periods (vs. shutting it down right away). The beauty of this is, you don’t need to know yet what you’re searching for. You’re simply learning to heed your feelings and build your capacity for joy. Both are important foundations for your bigger life.
If you sense what your bigger life may be: you’ll want to ‘follow the energy’. Pay attention to the cues in your life that stimulate your bold ideas more than just your curiosity. Notice which possibilities make your heart skip a beat or quicken your breathing when you consider taking the risk. Let your eye be drawn over them as your intuition guides you to discern between the good and the great opportunities.
When it comes to realizing your full potential, the great opportunities are the ones that offer meaningful engagement through your natural gifts and talents. These are the opportunities that lead to your personal healing while also having a positive impact on others.
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How did it go for you?
Did you discover your greatest urges to munch tend to happen when you’re stalling on or turning away from your bigger life? I’ve learned that my writing is a bigger life activity for me and as such, I’ve explored all manner of procrastination with it. The only thing that settles me and gets my weight to respond is turning back towards it and getting some words on the page. Weight loss is fear loss.
Dust off one of your cherished dreams. Allow us to be witness to one of your heart’s desires by sharing it in the Members-Only Comments section below.
What’s a natural gift or talent this calls forth in you and how might this benefit you and others?
Be sure to check back in too, to let us know how it’s going!
Conscious Weight Loss®
New to Conscious Weight Loss? Continue to this next Wisdom Bite
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Ego and Soul (Members-Only)
Truth (Module 2)
I always pictured myself as a coach/mentor. I’ve never been able to see the topic or specialty but i always knew i wanted to help people learn. I’m currently working on a system implementation project. While sitting and doing testing and logging bugs is not my idea of joy, putting together training material and delivering coaching sessions is energizing.
“I always knew” language is an indicator you’re heeding your heart, even when the details are not always clear. And what you find energizing is an indicator your mind & body are in alignment with this!
I recently took the leap into one of my cherished dreams, and opened my own business part-time. It’s the thing I am most excited about and it fills my soul with joy. I am doing what I want to do, and I am loving it. And my desire to overeat has definitely decreased with this new joy in my life.
I love the line “Weight loss is fear loss”. I believe now I have to turn to my personal growth, given how my professional growth has taken off. I need to get excited about the people and adventures I surround myself with, and lose the fear I have of finding my what my soul desires.
Congrats on your business & the joy that’s coming from that! You’ll find the way we approach your personal growth in this process, will ultimately enhance your business 🙂